02-1. Osaka Today as well Osaka: I am Ayumu Kasuga. I just transferred here from Osaka the other day. Tokyo folks do the right thing and stop when the light's red. Osaka folks keep crossing no matter what. So it can get pretty ugly. Ah, I better cross, too. Shoot, the light changed. School here isn't much different from school in Osaka. Osaka: Uh? Chiyo: Here. Osaka: Uh, what's a little kid like her doing in here? Yomi: Oh, her? That's Chiyo-chan. The child prodigy. Osaka: The child prodigy? Yomi: She may be only ten years old. But she's attending high school because she's super smart. Osaka: Wow. Oh, I know. There was this little boy Shouta from my neighborhood that people said like to smart [awful/off a] lot. She must be the extreme version of that. Yomi: I think you may be slightly off the mark there. Osaka: Back when I lived in Osaka, people used to say I was slow or spacey. Sometimes I wonder about it myself, thinking, am I really that spacey? Osaka: Ah! Oh, now my handkerchief's soaking wet. Osaka: Hm? Kaorin: Osaka, what are you doing? Osaka: You know those tiny bubbles inside your eyes you sometimes catch? Yeah, I'm tracking them down as we speak. Kaorin: I see... good luck with that. Osaka: Yeah, thank you. Yukari: So here we have the .... Student: Ah! Yukari: Huh? Student: Whoa! It's a huge cockroach! Student: It went that way! Chihiro: I hate cockroaches! Yukari: Oh, come on! Someone catch the damn bug, will ya? Tomo: All right! Just leave it to me! Ah! Ah! Tomo: Frigging bug! That little sucker's pretty damn quick! Chiyo: What in the world are you aiming at? Yomi: You're doing this on purpose, aren't you? Tomo: Hold it right there. Tomo: Where are you going? Ahhhhhhh! Tomo: Bull's eye! Student: Yeah! Student: Hey, come to think of it, who was it that let out the first scream anyway. Student: Beats me. Good question though. Yukari: Okay, okay. Let's all settle down and get back to the lesson. Tomo: Miss Yukari. Yukari: Tomo, what's the matter? Tomo: It's about my textbook. I used it to smash the cockroach. What should I do with this? Yukari: Argh! Get back! Yukari: D-don't come any closer! Tomo: Miss Yukari?! Yukari: Get it away! Blah! 02-2. P.E. - Volleyball Osaka: Back in Osaka, I was always the slowest runner in my class. But this class has a grade school kid in it. Nyamo: Okay, get ready! On your mark. Get set. Go! Osaka: I won't lose. I can't lose. Chiyo-chan, she might be a prodigy. But I can't lose. There's just no way! Osaka: I lost. Am... Am I not smart enough? I guess, maybe, I guess I'm just no match for a prodigy? Yomi: In all the races with Chiyo-chan, you're the first one who's ever lost. Nyamo: For today's P.E. class, we'll be playing volleyball. So let's get into groups of six, okay? Yomi: Groups of six? So, this is our winning combination? Tomo: All right! Aiming for the ten million in prizes. Watch out, Wimbledon. Here we come! Osaka: Yeah! Yomi: There's no such thing for P.E. Would you two get a grip? Chihiro: Zero - zero. Chiyo: Hm! Yomi: Nice Chiyo-chan! Heads up! Chiyo: Miss Sakaki, that was really amazing! Aha! Kaorin: Miss Sakaki is simply too awesome for words. Osaka: That girl there? The one you called Miss Sakaki? She seems pretty cool. Kaorin: Isn't she, though? No one's cooler. Osaka: Hm. That's it. From now on, she'll be what I'm aiming for. Kaorin: What? Aiming for her? Now, wait just a minute! Osaka: And one day, I'll reach that goal that I was aiming for her and I'll be just as cool as she is. Kaorin: Oh, so that's what you meant when you said 'aim'. Huh. good luck, then. 'Cause you are so gonna need some. Tomo: Hey, Losers! Eat this! Chiyo: Ah! Tomo: Oh, sorry, sorry! Chiyo: My head hurts, it hurts a lot. Tomo: Don't worry, you're okay. Yomi: That's not for you to say! Nyamo: Playing a match right off the bat seems a little too dangerous. So let's everyone pair off and work on the overhead passing. Osaka: Hey, Chiyo-chan. You wanna be my partner? Chiyo: Okay. Osaka: Chiyo-chan, here I go! Chiyo: Okay, I'm ready when you are! Osaka: Okay, here it comes! Chiyo: All right, all right, all right, all right, um! Osaka: Don't sweat it, Chiyo-chan! Chiyo: Okay! Chiyo: Miss Osaka, get ready for it! And there! Osaka: Uh, uh, uh, aw! Chiyo: Miss Osaka, are you all right? Osaka: I'm okay! Osaka: 'Kay, here we go again! Ha! Chiyo: Uh, uh, uh, aw! Osaka: Chiyo-chan, you're okay? Chiyo: Yeah, yeah! Chiyo: All right, here goes again! Ah! Osaka: Uh, uh, uh, aw! Chiyo: Miss Osaka, I'm sorry! Osaka: That's okay! Osaka: Heads up! Chiyo: Right! Chiyo: Here, ready! Osaka: Here goes nothing! Chiyo: I'm ready. Osaka: There you go! 02-3. Hiccups Yomi: Are you all right? You look rather precarious. Hey, watch it! Osaka: Made it back safe and sound. Yomi: Made it back? Back from where? Tomo: All right I guess it's time for me to dig in. Tada! Oh, wow! Fried chicken, omelet, and meat balls! Woohoo! Tomo's all-time favorites on one plate. Rub-a-dub-dub, thanks for the grub. Chiyo: Huh? What's wrong, Miss Osaka? Osaka: Please don't talk to me right now. Chiyo: Huh? Osaka: Hey, Yomi. Yomi: So, what about it? Osaka: Tomo, Tomo, look! Tomo: Huh? Chiyo: Is she happy just 'cause she split it so clean? Tomo: Hey, Yomi! Yomi: Hm? Tomo: What the heck is up with that croquette? It's all red inside. Yomi: What? You mean this? It's a super red hot chili pepper croquette. Tomo: Oh yeah, you like your food crazy hot, don't you? Chiyo: It looks really spicy. Tomo: Hey Osaka, you like spicy food? Osaka: No way, I'm terrible with that kind of stuff. Yomi: Hm... hey! Why don't you give this a little try? Osaka: Come on! I just told you I'm no good with that kind of stuff. You really ought to listen when someone tells you something. Yomi: Hey, not to worry. It's also got a lot of cayenne pepper in it. Osaka: And what's cayenne? Yomi: I guess you could say it's like shark fins or swallow's nests, y'know, one of those rare exotic dishes. Osaka: Oh, then I guess I'll have a taste of it. Chiyo: Oh, no, wait! Osaka: Hm. Urgh! Osaka: You're awful. I thought I was gonna die. Yomi: Oh, sorry about that. Osaka: Hic.... What the... Yomi: What's this now? You got hiccups? Chiyo: Oh! I bet it's because you ate that spicy stuff. Osaka: Is that how it works? Then what do I do? Tomo: Hey, can't you cure it by drinking water? Osaka: Water? Osaka: Would it be okay if I drink juice? Tomo: I don't think it matters. Hey, carbonated drinks might work even better. Osaka: Uh-uh, no way, I'm not real good with carbonation. Tomo: What? For real? Tomo: Those're some stubborn hiccups. Chiyo: I heard it's good if you take a drink while you pinch your nose. Yomi: Really? Because I seem to remember we should have to keep both of your ears plugged up. Tomo: All right, let's try them both together. Osaka: What? Tomo: Okay, you ready? Osaka: Yeah. Tomo: Come on! Go for it! Well then, are you cured? Osaka: Um... Can't say for sure. Yomi: No, she isn't cured. Tomo: Oh, wait, I know! Tomo: I heard that drinking from a cup balanced on chopsticks is supposed to work. Yomi: You sure about that? Osaka: Aaah. Yomi: Next hour's music, right? We better hurry up. Tomo: Yeah, yeah. Chiyo: Hey, wait up! 02-4. The Brain Yukari: Will you knock it off, Osaka! Tomo: Hey, time to go home! Huh? They still haven't gone away yet? Yomi: That means it's been going on for over two hours now. Tomo: That reminds me, I think I heard you can die if you keep hiccupping for a whole day. Everybody: No way! Chiyo: Miss Osaka, please be afraid! Please be very very afraid! Osaka Sorry, but that ain't scaring me one little bit. Tomo: Oh, yeah. I just remembered! Osaka: Huh? Tomo: Haaaa yah! Osaka: Ow! Tomo: You can cure hiccups by smacking the person on the back! Chiyo: Isn't that the way you do when you get something stuck in your throat? Tomo: Huh? Sorry about that. Osaka: That, that was mean. Yomi: From what I seem to recall, hiccupps happen because something is convulsing. Chiyo: Yeah. That's it, spasms in the diaphragm. Osaka: Where's the diaphragm? Chiyo: It's right underneath your lungs. Tomo: Right here! Osaka: Ow! Chiyo: Hey, th-that's the solar plexus! Yomi: A vital point on the human body. Tomo: Huh? Tomo: Are you cured? No good, huh? Sakaki: You can cure hiccups by brewing persimmon sepals and drinking the tea. Tomo: Persimmon? Yomi: You know that's some kind of folk remedy, right? Osaka: But we ain't got any persimmons with us. Sakaki: Then, try holding your breath for a while. Chiyo: Ready? OK, start! Osaka: Haa! Tomo: Man, that didn't take long at all. Sakaki: Now, apply pressure to the eyeballs. Osaka: Ow, ow, ow... Sakaki: Okay now, pull on the tongue. Yomi: It isn't going away. Chiyo: So do you have any other ideas? Sakaki: Let me think. Give it to someone else. Yomi: This is all starting to sound a bit hokey. Osaka: Give it to someone else... Yomi: Huh? Just what are you looking at? Yomi: If it's still not getting any better, it could be that you're really sick. Sakaki: Maybe you should go and have it checked out. Tomo: You think she's sick? But, of what? Sakaki: Like the brain. Osaka: The brain? Yomi,Tomo: Oh! Osaka: Hang on a second! What are you talking about? Yomi: Well, eh, it's because your brain... I think it might have a few problems. Osaka: Problems? What? Tomo: Well, y'are kind of weird sometimes. Osaka: You're talking about symptoms? Tomo: Not really symptoms, but you know? Yomi: Uh-huh. The fact that she is not aware of the symptoms is sort of the symptom itself. Osaka: What's that supposed to mean? I don't get it. Chiyo: Excuse me, but it seems your hiccups stopped now. Osaka: Wow, I guess you're right. I must be cured. It's happily ever after. Chiyo: Yeah, thank goodness for that. But I wonder what it was that stopped them. Yomi: Hm, something worked? But what? Chiyo: Uh-oh. Osaka: Oh, that's it, I gave it to Chiyo-chan. Yomi: Is that even possible? Tomo: Okay, let's do everything we tried on Osaka from the very start. Osaka: That sounds good. What came first though? Chiyo: Hey! Yomi: Smack on the back and then hit her solar plexus. Tomo: Oh, right, right. Chiyo: This can't be! 02-5. Brand New Osaka: Sharks are fish, aren't they? And dolphins are mammals, right? So that being the case, would that make snails ought to be bugs? Yomi: What? Hm. I'm not entirely sure I understand how you came up with "that being the case." But I don't think snails are classified as bugs. Osaka: Oh, Yomi: But, the truth is I'm really not sure. Osaka: I figured I had it right. Yomi: What? Osaka: After all, it'd be pretty weird if a snail got mixed up in somebody's insect collection. Yomi: I don't think that's quite the issue here. Osaka: I bring you grains of truth! Hey Tomo, listen up! Tomo: Huh? Osaka: Did you know rice is the most popular grain in the world? Tomo: Wow. Osaka: You're no good, Tomo. Tomo: Huh? Osaka: I bring you grains of truth! Get this, Yomi! Yomi: Huh? Osaka: Rice is the most popular grain in the world. Yomi: Really. Osaka: You got it all wrong. Yomi: Huh? Osaka: No, no, see. What you were supposed to say was "that ain't no grains of truth, that's the truth about grain." Yomi: Oh, sorry. Osaka: I'm in the middle of class right now. But I thought about a lot of things today. Here's contemplation #1. Chiyo-chan's pigtails have a direct connection with one another We should experiment right away. Oh wow! There really is a connection between 'em. Here's contemplation #2. This new discovery could very well mean that, maybe... Ha! Just as I suspected, her pigtails are detachable after all. Here's contemplation #3. Given the above, something like this could happen. Chiyo: Look, Miss Osaka. Check out the great present I got for Christmas this year! Osaka: Oh, wow! So what is it? Chiyo: Go on! You can take a look yourself. Osaka: Okay, what are they? Chiyo: Here, why don't I show you...? Ah-ha. Chiyo: See, it's a brand new pair for me. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Yukari: Osaka. Hey, Osaka! Osaka: Huh? Oh, hi, Miss Yukari. Yukari: Listen, I'm working here so don't you dare fall asleep! Osaka: Yes, ma'am. Osaka: I fell asleep without even realizin' it. Must be 'cause I've been thinkin' 'bout all this stuff. I think I better go to bed early today. Huuuhh. Yukari: Hey! Don't fall asleep! -- Preview -- Yukari: Now is the time to settle this once and for all! We'll fight it out to see who's better, a language teacher or a P.E. teacher. Nyamo: Better? A teacher is a teacher, we're both the same. Yukari: Ha, you're so wrong. A language teacher got real good grammar... Nyamo: And a P.E. teacher is good at sports. Yukari: Oh, yeah?! Is that why you can't find a boyfriend?! Nyamo: That has nothing to do with this! Besides, it's not like you're... Yukari: Hey, everyone! We have you look forward to Azumanga Daioh next time too! Nyamo: Don't change the subject!