7-1. Osaka's Horror Story Osaka: Let's go home, Chiyo-chan. Chiyo: Oh, would you mind if we made a stop at a bookstore on the way? Osaka: No, that's fine. Is there some interesting book that just came out? Chiyo: Yeah, today, there's supposed to be a really cute photo collection of pandas coming out! Osaka: Really. Chiyo: But apparently it's been talked about a lot in advance, so I hope it won't be sold out. Osaka: I had no idea. Girl: Huh? Nyamo: Hey! No running in the hallway! Really. What's got her in such a hurry? Osaka: Speakin' of that, Chiyo-chan... Chiyo: Yes? Osaka: Concerning pandas... Chiyo: Yeah? Osaka: So which parts are supposed to be white and which parts are black again? Chiyo: Okay... Um... Chiyo: I finished it. Osaka: Don't you think it looks a little off the mark? Chiyo: Um... I think you may be right. Osaka: I'm pretty sure the one I saw on TV was more like... hmm... Osaka: Okay. This creature is a... er... Chiyo: This isn't right. That looks nothing like a panda. Yomi: Hey, what's up? Tomo: Let's go! Let's go! Tomo: What are those? Yomi: Maybe animals? Chiyo: They're pandas. Osaka: Pandas. Tomo and yomi: Pandas? Osaka: Actually, to tell you the truth, I've never seen a panda in real life with my very own eyes yet. Tomo: Oh, well, I have seen one before. It was at the zoo, and it was totally cute. Osaka: Oh. Well then, tell me this... Tomo: Huh? Osaka: Was it black spots on white? Or was it white spots on a black background? Tomo: Well, er... Chiyo: Then we should go see pandas together some time! Yomi: Ooh, I agree. Osaka: Oh! Don't get me wrong, I do wanna see the pandas, but there's also somethin' else I wanna see while we're at it. Tomo: What's that? Osaka: Mmm. You know we knew... that thing that happens when you... like um... Oh, yeah... My life flashin'! Tomo: I'd advise against that. Osaka: Come to think of it, I had a terrifyin' experience only yesterday. Tomo: Ooh! Let's hear it. What happened? Spit it out, will you? Don't tell me woke up and started speaking normal like all of us do. Osaka: Ooh! That... That'd be scary too. Mmm... Hi! Hiya! Tomo: That's not how we talk. But never mind that. Get on with the story! Osaka: Some time last night, I was all alone in my room, when suddenly, outta nowhere the smell of a fart that wasn't mine wafted into my nose. Tomo: Uh... Spooky! Osaka: Isn't it? Yomi: Really? 17-2. Change of Pace Yukari: Oh, shoot! Now I'm gonna be late again! Kimura: Miss Tanizaki. Yukari: Yeah, what? Kimura: Is it because it's almost Christmas? Yukari: Huh? Kimura: Yule be running to get my present, huh? That certainly is some sense of humor you got there, Miss Tanizaki! Hahahaha. Yukari: Yeah, um, I'm in a bit of a hurry. Tomo: Hey, hey, what was the old-fashioned name for the time around Christmas again? Uh, was it "Mule"? Yomi: Huh? Chiyo: Oh, I believe the word you're looking for is "Yule." Osaka: Ah! Tomo: Ah! Osaka, Tomo: Ah! Chiyo: What? Tomo: Thanks a lot, Chiyo-chan. Why are you gonna steal the punch line? Osaka: That's right, you just shouldn't do that. Chiyo: Um... I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry... Osaka: You shouldn't, Chiyo-chan. You shouldn't... Yomi: Don't take anything they say seriously, Chiyo-chan. Tomo: Ah, ahem. Now as I was saying... What was that old name for the time around Christmas again? Yomi: Don't do it over! Yukari: Okay, you can sit down! I am sick and tired of being just a language teacher! So, instead, I'll be teaching you kids math today. Yomi: Math, huh? Yukari: Argh! We're doing P.E. Everyone, get outside! Tomo: So cold! Yomi: Now how do we go straight from language to P.E.? Chiyo: I wonder what we'll be doing in Miss Yukari's P.E. class? Osaka: Think it'll be like an American P.E.? Kagura: Whether it's American or British, I won't be losing to you, Sakaki! Yukari: Yeah, let's play a little soccer! Tomo: Yukari, do you even know the rules? Yukari: Just leave it to me! I'm Mia Hamm! Tomo: Huh? Yukari: I'm Mia Hamm! Tomo: What does that mean? Yukari: Take that! Girl: Huh? Yukari: Goal! Goal, goal, goal, goal, goal, goal... Yomi: Miss Yukari, you do know that's our goal, right? Yukari: Actually, I was a spy for the other team! Yomi: You're not making any sense. Yukari: I'll get it in for sure this time! Move it, move it, move it, move... Huh? What the...? Yukari: Enough soccer! Let's play dodge ball! Nyamo: Hm? What's Yukari's class having P.E. for? Osaka: Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no... Ah! Chihiro: Take that! Kaorin: Go, Miss Sakaki! Chiyo: Uh... uh... Yukari: Ah! Chiyo: Uh... uh... Girl: I've been hit! Chiyo: Uh... uh... I'm... I'm the only one left on my side! Tomo: Prepare yourself to die! Take that! Yomi: Just hit her already. 17-3. Yule Yukari: Hm... Nyamo: Is there some reason you're looking all serious? What is that? Yukari: It's a gift catalogue. Nyamo: Wow, you're gonna send something? Who's it for? Yukari: Huh? What's the point in giving it to other people? Nyamo: Hm? Yukari: Although, looking at this stuff makes you feel like you're just rolling in money. Nyamo: It does? Yukari: Oh, yeah, this one. But this one too, in its own way. Oh! This one's hard to give up, too! Nyamo: Oh, that tableware set's pretty nice. Yukari: Hm! Nyamo: Aw! What was that?! Yukari: Are you some kind of idiot?! This is no time to be acting all cool. Look! It's snow crabs! Snow crabs! Really, to think you pick flatware over crabs. Hm? Hey, there, Miss Minamo? Nyamo: What? Yukari: Have you ever had Matsusaka beef before? Nyamo: No, I never have. Yukari: It's supposed to be delicious. Nyamo: So I've heard. Chiyo: Miss Yukari. Yukari: Hm? Chiyo: Here you are. I brought this for you. Yukari: Oh, thank you very much. By the way, Chiyo. Chiyo: Yes. Yukari: Tell me, have you ever eaten something called Matsusaka beef? Chiyo: Um, oh, yup, I had that! Ow! That hurt! Yukari: Then, if you could have anything in this catalog, what would you order? Chiyo: Oh! The ice cream set on this page looks really yummy! Yukari: Ice cream? Does that mean you're just a little kid? Or is it the complacency of the bourgeois? Matsusaka beef is more delicious, right?! Osaka: Merry Christmas, Chiyo-chan! Chiyo: Hello, Miss Osaka. What are you doing there? Osaka: Merry Christmas to you! Chiyo: Oh, it's almost Christmas time, isn't it? Osaka: That's right. Merry Merry Christmas! Chiyo: I'm so excited! I can't wait to see what presents I'll get this year! Osaka: Me, too. Chiyo: Yeah. Kagura: Say, does Chiyo-chan... You think she still believes in Santa? Tomo: Well, who knows? Why don't we just go and ask her? Chiyo-chan, are you one of those people who still believes in Santa? Kagura: Ah! Moron! What are you gonna do if she does believe?! You shouldn't go and destroy her dreams like that, you know! Tomo: Then, how are you gonna explain it to her? Kagura: Explain? Tomo: For example, what if she wants to know where the money comes from to pay for presents for all the kids in the country, huh? Kagura: Um, well... Government! It's the government who pays Santa. Tomo: And not everyone has the chimneys, so how does he get in then? Kagura: Don't underestimate him! See, Santa's got awesome lock picking skills! Pick and open anything! Tomo: Okay, so, how does he go to every house in the world in just one night? Kagura: He's fast! He's tremendously fast! Like at mach 100! Tomo: Yeah, right. No human could do all that. Kagura: Santa isn't human! Tomo: What?! Are you saying he's some kind of alien or something?! Kagura: No, I'm not saying he's from outer space, you idiot! Tomo: Then where?! Under the earth?! The ocean floor?! What is he?! An alien?! A subterranean?! From the depths of the sea? Chiyo: Um, don't worry, I already know. Kagura, Tomo: What?! Tomo: Is he really an alien? Kagura: Or a mole man?! Chiyo: Tha... that is... Chiyo: You see Mr. Santa is really your father. Kagura: My father? Tomo: Okay. Chiyo: Yes, that's right. Sakaki: Santa... is her father? Chiyo Papa: Merry... Osaka: What's the matter? 17-4. Amazing Santa Chiyo Papa: Chiyo. Merry Christmas. Chiyo: Oh, thank you so much! Yay! My father is Mr. Santa! Chiyo Papa: Yes, that's right. The government pays me to deliver presents to everyone. Chiyo: Amazing! Chiyo Papa: And I can fly at mach 100. Chiyo: Amazing! Amazing! Kaorin: Huh? Huh? Huh? Tomo: Say, Yomi? Yomi: Huh? Tomo: So, like, if you could ask for anything you wanted as a Christmas present, anything at all, what would you wanna get? Yomi: Anything... You really mean like anything at all? Even a hundred trillion yen? Tomo: Um... May be something a little more realistic. Yomi: A little more realistic? Then how much are we talking about? Is ten million low enough? Tomo: Well, I guess if you're gonna ask for a price... Chiyo: What are you two talking about? Tomo: Hey, Chiyo-chan, so what would you like as a Christmas present? Chiyo: Well... um... Oh, you know the big Christmas tree out in front of the train station? I'd really like that big star decorating the very tip-top. I've always wanted something like that. Tomo: Wow! This is what we call a pure and unadulterated soul, my dear Yomi. Yomi: Uh... Tomo: One hundred trillion yen, eh? There, there. What's wrong? What's wrong? Kagura: Hey. Might I ask you something? Tomo: What's with... being so formal? Kagura: Now I know Santa doesn't exist, but... Tomo: Mm-hm. Kagura: Reindeer do exist, don't they? Tomo: Hahahaha. This girl believes in reindeer! Chiyo, Yomi: What?! Tomo: Huh? Yomi: Reindeer do exist. Chiyo: Mm-hm. Tomo: You're lying! Flying deer do not exist, Yomi! You're trying to trick me! I'm not falling for it! Hahahaha. Yomi: Okay, she is confused. Tomo: Sakaki, reindeer don't exist in this world, do they? Sakaki: They do. Tomo: Huh? Tomo: Hey, Osaka, do reindeer really exist? Osaka: Yup, they sure do. Tomo: Huh? Sakaki: Reindeer really do exist. Chiyo: They can't fly, but they look like this style, right here? Deer and reindeer are really two different creatures. Tomo: What?! What the heck?! I'm not stupid! I'm not stupid, okay?! Osaka: I gotta start writting New Year's cards. Tomo: Huh? Osaka: Say, Tomo. What year of the Chinese zodiac is next year supposed to be? Tomo: Um... Tomo, Osaka: Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, adder... Osaka: Okay, what's this year's Chinese zodiac? Tomo: No clue. Tomo, Osaka: Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, adder... Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, adder... Osaka: I don't know what comes after dragon and adder, though. Tomo: Me neither. Tomo, Osaka: Rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, adder... Tomo: Oh, I just remembered. This year is the dragon. Dragon. Osaka: Then next year will be the adder. The adder. Tomo: The adder. Osaka: Uh... Tomo: Adder... Osaka: Ain't that the hanging parts on a cow or something? 17-5. Christmas Party Yukari: Okay, time to hand out report cards! Well, let's start with Chiyo-chan. Chiyo: Yes! Yukari: Chiyo-chan, you're the top second year student. Chiyo: Aha! Yukari: Not that this kind of studying will be very useful to you once you're out in the real world. Chiyo: Uh... Yukari: Next, Tomo. Tomo: Hm? Yukari: You need to start working a little harder, Missy. Tomo: What? But it won't be useful once we're out in the real world, right? Yukari: You idiot! This is what scholastics are all about! If you want wisdom that's useful in life, go read grandma's fountain of wisdom or something. Chiyo: Sorry I'm late! Thanks for waiting for me! Tomo: All right! Merry Christmas! Let's party tonight! Here's the agenda! We'll hang out for a while, go sing karaoke, eat cake at Chiyo-chan's, and have a big-ass slumber party! Okay, let's go! Osaka: You know, I always think about this every year when Christmas comes around. Chiyo: Yeah? Osaka: They have that one story about the red nosed reindeer, right? I can't help thinking how terrible it is. Chiyo: Huh? Osaka: Sure his shiny nose may be really useful for dark roads at night... But that ain't no consolation. I mean if ya told a bald person that his head was useful on the road at night, you'd just get clobbered. Santa sure does say some mean things. Chiyo: Uh-huh? Osaka: But the reindeer's also got its own issues. Chiyo: Really? Osaka: What kinda nose does he have that lights up the road? And where did he get it from? It just might be that he's not a reindeer after all. I bet he's somethin' else... Chiyo: Hahaha... Osaka: And if you stay, time passes by. Everyone: Yay! Osaka: Hey, I got sixty-five. Yomi: I said that's pretty good, Osaka. Tomo: Yeah, way better than your last test score. Chiyo: Huh? Oh, right. Yomi, Tomo: Hm? Sakaki: There may be some day that I open up inside. Forget this parachute and see when my heart falls. While I was waiting in the park it came to me. If I was going home, A detour on our way, A side trip with my friends, Or shall we turn around, An ordinary day. Chiyo: Wow! Osaka: That was good! Chiyo: Miss Sakaki, that was amazing! Tomo: You're really good at this, you know! Yomi: Uh-huh. Osaka: Yeah, talk about a surprise. Yomi: Then, I guess I'll do one too. Tomo: What? You will? Yomi: Hop, hop, hop, hopping around, how are you? How are you? Ding-dong, ding-dong, the bells ring on that hill, on that hill... Tomo: Man, we sure sang whole a lot! But I have to say Miss Yomi's singing really was something else, huh! Osaka: That was another big surprise. Tomo: This girl's good at school and sports, but singing is the one thing she totally sucks at big time. Yomi: Who cares?! As long as she puts her heart into it! Tomo: Your heart, huh? Yomi, Tomo: Huh? Sakaki: It's snowing. Chiyo: Oh, wow, snow on Christmas! Isn't that so romantic?! Kimura: Yup. It's a white Christmas for sure. Everyone: Mr. Kimura! What the...?! -- Preview -- Tomo: Hokkaido sure is nice, you know? The food there is good and you get to ski too. Yomi: I went there. Tomo: They've got bears and hot springs! It's like the entire city is the great out doors! Yomi: I went to Hokkaido. Tomo: What?! Behind my back?! When?! Yomi: I also got to eat crabs. Everyone: Crabs?! Yukari: Is it crabs next episode?! Will we get to eat crab?! Nyamo: You won't get to eat crabs, but don't miss it, okay?